I'm on a journey to become a mama with my Wife, who is also named Liv. I like octopuses, a great book and you’ll never find me without a big cup of ice water or a glass of wine by my side. I love essential oils, bad jokes, mini m&m’s and really big ideas. I talk a lot and love love love to laugh. Traveling is my jam. Right here you will see all of those things, plus a bit more craziness. Want to be friends? Hit the contact tab.
let me explain.
not my actual physical baby – we aren’t there yet. But my dreams and hopes of a baby? The start of the entire process? It’s sitting in a corner collecting dust until we find more solid ground in this entire pandemic.
You see, my wife and I were just about to start our medical journey to becoming mamas. We have been preparing financially, mentally, emotionally for over two years now. Having done the research, found our donor, been to the doctors, tracked the cycles, we have done all the things it takes to get to the point of starting our journey using IUI. My wife and I were setting our appointment for the month of March 2020 to do our first round of IUI.
And then the mixed feelings hit. The devastation of the unplanned delay. The sadness. The emotional drainage. The feelings of being in the unknown. It’s a hard, difficult thing to process.
On one hand, we are so grateful that we have our home, jobs and health and this extended time to pad the banks accounts a little more. That we weren’t mid pregnancy and unable to accompany one and other to appointments, or my personal worst nightmare, not be able to attend the birth of our child. Not knowing what this virus could do to my wife and our baby and all that goes along with social distancing and pregnancy is not on our plate. For that we are grateful.
But having a child as a gay couple is already riddled with hurdles that a hetero couple doesn’t have to face (if you encounter no fertility issues that is – infertility is a very real issue amongst all couples and I’m not considering that in this statement). Having to wait out the storm so to speak, with no end or knowledge of what normal will look like after this settles, is scary and sad. Having to pause a process we were wading through is depressing and upsetting.
All this to say – we are grateful for our health and the ability to have a baby when the time comes. We are working with a wonderful Dr. and we are both beyond excited to be mamas. So until that day comes and the world opens back up a bit, we will keep our baby dreams safely in the corner. In the meantime; we will mourn the lost months, work to save and provide more, buy baby clothes (that is a whole other blog post!), grow closer in our marriage and prepare our hearts and home so that the minute we can get back on the path, we will be there, ready to get our baby.